The Big Day!

I wanted to catalog my thoughts, so as the day of Xavier's birth progressed, I took notes of how I was feeling and what I was thinking. This is that document. It's real, unprocessed, quite open and honest. I'm not sure anyone in the room (including Holly) knew that I was doing this, but I wanted to share my experience in becoming a father.

About two hours ago, the two hours of sleep I was enjoying were very abruptly interrupted by Holly making a ninja move out of the bed. I was semi-conscious as she said, "Are you kidding me!?!?"

My response was a one word version of "whasgoingon?"

"I think my water just broke."

In my attempt to make sure that I carry on the good name of men all over the world, I wanted to make sure that she hadn't actually had a bathroom-type accident.

She assured me that she had NOT! So, we snapped into go-mode!

Now, we're sitting in a delivery room, dilated at three centimeters and having contractions every three minutes.

I'm completely overwhelmed, excited and ready to meet our little Xavier!

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Well, it's ten o'clock now. We don't have a lot of progress. Holly is a little over three centimeters dilated, still having regular contractions. At this point we're thinking that the doctor is going to give her some pitocin to get things going.

I'm so proud of her, the deep breathing techniques we learned at the birthing classes are really paying off.

Grandma and Papaw (Pinkerton) and grandma and grandpa breitenbach are here. Aunt Elna has been here most of the morning. Uncle B and Aunt Lisa just came by, and so did Kristi. Aunt Heather and Matt were here when we first got here but we sent them home to get more sleep!

I'm confident that at this point in time, my church is praying for the three of us, and I know that God is good, and He will provide for us.

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We've been here about twelve hours at this point. It's 3:45, we are at 5-6 cm and 80-90% effaced.

We are both exhausted. I've been able to catch a couple naps on the couch in the birthing room. At this point, Holly has taken the epidural, she lasted about eight hours in labor without it. For someone with her pain threshold, I thought that was impressive. The epidural is making her sleepy, but there's so much going on that she can't seem to sleep at all.

While I was laying on the couch, trying to fall asleep (full disclosure, it's happening again as I write) I was completely overwhelmed with tears at the idea that soon my very own son would be nestled safely in my own arms. I give all praise to a glorious God who is making it so, and I'm completely floored by the incredible responsibility that's about to be placed on me and Holly.

The visits and support from family and friends has been great. Hilary has remained in near-constant contact with me throughout the day, I can't figure out who is more excited, her or Shanna.

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It's 6:30 now! They came in and did an exam. We are at 8 cm, and 100% effaced. This means it's almost time to meet our son.

Papaw just led the family in a time of prayer. The nurse walked in just after we finished, she was wondering what happened that made nine grown adults cry. It was so precious praying together and thanking God for our son and praying for a healthy delivery.

We are now just waiting on some more change so that mom can start pushing!

It's almost time. Can't wait to hold my baby boy. :-)

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It's always difficult telling people that they need to leave the room. They are all quite excited, they all have a majorly vested interest in our little Xavier. In fact, most of them have known Holly since she was born. So, her husband of less than two years probably has no right to ask them to leave the room...

But I did.

Man that's tough on me, emotionally. But Holly's nurse asked her to get some serious rest, so we wanted to turn off the lights and let Holly rest. I asked the whole group to leave the room.

We had an issue with the nurse we met when we first got here. She wasn't vicious or mean or anything, but she had a way that just didn't sit well with Holly. So, we had a lot of stress when the shifts changed again and that nurse was going to be put back on the "case." Holly wanted a change, so we asked for a change.

Now we are sitting in the room, just her and I (and her parents) very quietly, in the dark.

We are hoping that she won't have to push for a long time, but preparing for that eventuality by letting Holly rest, just in case.

It is almost 8 pm. That means we are pushing 17 hours today. What a day! Holly is at 9cm, fully effaced. It's so close.

In the middle of this nurse drama, I got the chance to hold my wife and whispered in her ear, "we're going to hold him soon." This, of course, was an overwhelmingly emotional thing to say, and we both broke down and cried together, tears of absolute, unadulterated, unbelievable joy.

This leg of our journey with Xavier is quickly coming to a close. We're so excited for the next part.

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9:25 - I'm really dragging. Been trying to keep food/fluids up all day, but this is taking a long time.

Come on Xavier, it's time to get this show on the road. Mommy has done a great job getting you ready, keeping you warm, but it's time to get moving, son!

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12:35 - it's a whole new day. We are finally hearing the magic word, "push!" But it is in an attempt to finish things up so that the real pushing can begin.

I just keep reminding Holly that we are going to hold our beautiful baby boy soon.

On a different note, the nurse says that she feels hair! I keep asking her if it's red hair, but she can't tell. Come on now. Get it together, Polly!

Dr. Delong, whom we worked with all day has left, Dr. Jackson has taken her place tonight.

We can't quite get everything right at this point. Either the contractions are too irregular, his heart rate is too varied, or her cervix isn't "complete." So, all efforts are in place now to try and get those things together and get this little man out!

All our visitors are in the waiting room, desperately waiting for some information.... On May 7, we are all waiting together. We can't wait to meet this little guy.

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12:50 - nurse just left. No change yet. Can't get this last little bit to go. We are at 22 hours and counting now. Poor Holly is exhausted and miserable.