A few months ago, I was talking to a pastor I know and he was sharing with me that he thought the entire concept of Life Groups was wrong. I found this to be a little weird because the church where he's a pastor has life groups. Naturally, I wanted to know why he felt this way.
"It's because the idea of living life together isn't real, it doesn't work."
His whole premise was that we are individuals (or individual families) and we live our lives apart. The idea that we can meet for an hour a week and somehow be living life together must be wrong. For him, it just wasn't true.
With all due respect to that pastor, I think he was wrong.
Sure, we don't completely live life together. I don't particularly need to know that you are out of coffee at your home. While the lack of coffee in my home is note-worthy (if not panic-worthy) to me, the lack of coffee in your home isn't nearly as concerning to me.
But when we talk about living life together, we're not talking about those little things are we? We're not talking about something as insignificant as coffee and the availability of hot beverages in each family's home.
Living life together is about the big things. Our Sunday School class has an almost identical life group attached to it. The life group is expanded a little bit in some ways and contracted in some others. A number of people teach Sunday School and miss our class, and so the life group is a great opportunity for them to stay connected.
Holly and I went to that group tonight (for the first time, actually) and to be honest, I'm completely sold on the concept of life groups. We are, in fact, living life together.
In our class/group there are four babies under a year old. We've celebrated with each of those families as they welcomed their children into the world (in fact I was in the hospital with two of them). There are even more children under 5 years old.
We are all living life together.
When I come into class, I find myself quite frequently overwhelmed with the latest aspect of fatherhood that I just stumbled into (on that note, it never feels like I gracefully I arrive into those moments. I feel like I'm just completely falling into them) and the men in my class are able to look me in the eyes and say, "I understand."
That's living life together.
When someone is sick, or a family member passes away, we mourn together. We pray together. We challenge each other and we call each other out.
We realize that we are parts of the same body and if one part is hurting or ill or messed up in some way, it affects all parts of the body.
Tonight, our group talked about worry. Jesus is pretty clear that there's no place for worry in the life of a Christian. I get the impression that a good Christian should never worry because God is still God, and God is always good.
I confess... I am full of worry.
I don't know what to do about it either. The last question of the group tonight was, "What one thing can you do to prevent worrying this week?"
I have no idea how to stop myself from worrying. The past few months of my life have been consumed with worry. I tell myself that it's not a lack of trust in God, I mean, I trust that in the end God will provide. I guess, I feel like I should be able to help God along?
Maybe I could put it better by saying that God gave me talents and abilities and if I use the gifts he gave to provide, then God is still providing. I don't want to be the sort of person who just sits around hoping that God will provide.
I know this, though. I'm absolutely tired of worrying. I'm tired of being so scared. It is taking its toll on me. I can't handle the pressure of feeling like I'm in this alone.
So, what tangible thing can I do to stop worrying? I honestly have no idea. But, I'm open to trying anything. So, I'm fasting, just for a day (until dinner tomorrow night). I don't say that to point at how great I am (as if not eating food somehow makes a person great), but to say that I'm at the end of my rope in the mental sense of all this, and so tomorrow I'll be relying on God for strength to just make it through the day.
I'll admit, that's mildly ridiculous. As if I couldn't make it through one day without food.
If you get a chance, say a prayer for me. This is an incredibly taxing period of my life. But God is good.
---
This doesn't feel like much of a fatherhood blog. So, I'll give an update on Holly and Xavier. We are currently at 27 weeks. We're going to the doctor tomorrow morning and will hopefully hear that everything is going well. Xavier has been moving around a lot. When it gets loud, he moves. I'm not sure what to think about that, being such a loud person.
As far as I know, everyone's healthy.
I can't wait to meet my little man!
Showing posts with label Provider. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Provider. Show all posts
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sunday, October 30, 2011
I'm their provider!
I wrote this one on September 30. I'll have a new post this week. =)
September 30, 2011
It’s been a week since we told our parents. I suppose that some of the apprehension has begun to wane. It’s nice to be able to talk about this major life-event with people that we love. We’ve also been slowly telling our friends and family. The support we’ve received so far has been great. It’s so helpful for someone like me to know that there are people in this world who absolutely believe in me as a man and a father.
This has been an incredibly difficult week for me, though. Churches around the country are struggling to stay afloat in this incredibly perilous financial time. High Street has largely been doing well through all of this. In fact, they hired a new staff member, creating a new position, during this time. But the economic crunch is coming here too. It has me worried because I know my calling from God is to be a provider to my family (and that includes finances).
I’m sure it’s not completely uncommon, though, for a first-time-father to assume that he won’t be able to provide for his wife and child. I suppose I’m no different. My fears could very well be unfounded, but they certainly are my fears. It’s this fear of not being able that has crippled me all week.
My friend became a father for the first time a few years ago. He’s one of my best friends in the world, and my workout buddy. He told me that while his wife was pregnant, he had some of the “symptoms” of pregnancy. He mentioned specifically that he had weird appetite cravings, and she did not.
I’m beginning to think that maybe I got the pregnancy hormones and Holly didn’t. Wednesday was the tipping point for me of my bad week and at one point in the afternoon I just lost it emotionally. All of the apprehension and turmoil finally boiled over and I broke down completely. It was a little awkward for another pastor who came into my mother-in-law’s office and saw both of us crying.
But the release was good for me. I should take a second to note that my mother-in-law, while still being an in-law, has been awesome from Day One. From the moment Holly and I were engaged, Shanna has been very supportive of me, and incredibly helpful in creating what we believe to be a Biblical marriage and family. Her and Randy have been amazing, the best in-laws I could ask for.
That’s what’s been happening with me this week. Holly is experiencing all the wonderful nausea that being pregnant brings. About twice a day I send her a text and ask her how she’s doing. When she has a break she responds, it’s very rarely positive. The nausea is tough on her, and therefore it’s tough on me. But she perseveres with a room full of toddlers.
I’m also learning that everyone has pregnancy advice/opinions. Every time I tell someone that Holly is nauseous they offer their advice. For some women it was just a few months they had the sickness. For some it was the entire pregnancy (Yay, something to look forward to for the next 8 months!). For some, they didn’t experience it at all.
Alas, there is either some hope or no hope. We’re past the hope of her not getting it at all. I certainly do hope that the nausea is a symptom that will pass.
We’re excited to make this announcement public. We’ve told everyone here on staff at the church, and Holly’s told some people at her work. We’re going to announce it to the congregation on October 9, which is actually our one year anniversary.
Then a couple weeks after that, we’re heading back to Pigeon Forge for vacation. We were there for our honeymoon last year and we had a blast. This time, we’re going camping with Holly’s parents and grandmother. We’re super excited to get away for a few days and relax. It’ll be so nice to just spend some stress-free time away from the hustle and bustle of our normal lives. I fully intend on sleeping… a lot.
My prayer this week has been, “Lord, give me my daily bread.” I’m not asking for anymore than what I need today. And God certainly is faithful.
September 30, 2011
It’s been a week since we told our parents. I suppose that some of the apprehension has begun to wane. It’s nice to be able to talk about this major life-event with people that we love. We’ve also been slowly telling our friends and family. The support we’ve received so far has been great. It’s so helpful for someone like me to know that there are people in this world who absolutely believe in me as a man and a father.
This has been an incredibly difficult week for me, though. Churches around the country are struggling to stay afloat in this incredibly perilous financial time. High Street has largely been doing well through all of this. In fact, they hired a new staff member, creating a new position, during this time. But the economic crunch is coming here too. It has me worried because I know my calling from God is to be a provider to my family (and that includes finances).
I’m sure it’s not completely uncommon, though, for a first-time-father to assume that he won’t be able to provide for his wife and child. I suppose I’m no different. My fears could very well be unfounded, but they certainly are my fears. It’s this fear of not being able that has crippled me all week.
My friend became a father for the first time a few years ago. He’s one of my best friends in the world, and my workout buddy. He told me that while his wife was pregnant, he had some of the “symptoms” of pregnancy. He mentioned specifically that he had weird appetite cravings, and she did not.
I’m beginning to think that maybe I got the pregnancy hormones and Holly didn’t. Wednesday was the tipping point for me of my bad week and at one point in the afternoon I just lost it emotionally. All of the apprehension and turmoil finally boiled over and I broke down completely. It was a little awkward for another pastor who came into my mother-in-law’s office and saw both of us crying.
But the release was good for me. I should take a second to note that my mother-in-law, while still being an in-law, has been awesome from Day One. From the moment Holly and I were engaged, Shanna has been very supportive of me, and incredibly helpful in creating what we believe to be a Biblical marriage and family. Her and Randy have been amazing, the best in-laws I could ask for.
That’s what’s been happening with me this week. Holly is experiencing all the wonderful nausea that being pregnant brings. About twice a day I send her a text and ask her how she’s doing. When she has a break she responds, it’s very rarely positive. The nausea is tough on her, and therefore it’s tough on me. But she perseveres with a room full of toddlers.
I’m also learning that everyone has pregnancy advice/opinions. Every time I tell someone that Holly is nauseous they offer their advice. For some women it was just a few months they had the sickness. For some it was the entire pregnancy (Yay, something to look forward to for the next 8 months!). For some, they didn’t experience it at all.
Alas, there is either some hope or no hope. We’re past the hope of her not getting it at all. I certainly do hope that the nausea is a symptom that will pass.
We’re excited to make this announcement public. We’ve told everyone here on staff at the church, and Holly’s told some people at her work. We’re going to announce it to the congregation on October 9, which is actually our one year anniversary.
Then a couple weeks after that, we’re heading back to Pigeon Forge for vacation. We were there for our honeymoon last year and we had a blast. This time, we’re going camping with Holly’s parents and grandmother. We’re super excited to get away for a few days and relax. It’ll be so nice to just spend some stress-free time away from the hustle and bustle of our normal lives. I fully intend on sleeping… a lot.
My prayer this week has been, “Lord, give me my daily bread.” I’m not asking for anymore than what I need today. And God certainly is faithful.
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